Parking Lot: 1, Porsche Guy: 0

As Alana and I were eating sushi Wednesday night, we were slightly distracted by an amateur Porsche driver.

Before I go any further, I'll explain how this parking lot/strip is set up. The strip is along 17th Street near the Fort Lauderdale beach. There is a one-way strip of parking that runs the length of the strip, and then is met by another strip that goes from the front of the strip to the back on the west side. That connects to another parking lot behind it. There is a side street that closes the strip in on the east side. Get it? Ok.

Amateur Porsche Guy drives down the strip towards the west side. His car has one of those annoying custom exhausts. Custom exhausts on a Porsche = tacky. Not only does he have a nice car, he has the gall to rub it in further.

But that's not all: Within seconds, he turns around and drives the opposite way, finding a parking spot about 10 feet from where Alana and I were sitting outdoors.

Now, I don't know about you, but in South Florida, we have Canadians that flock here during the Winter months. Canadians from Quebec. The kind of Canadians that the rest of Canada doesn't like. When said Canadians, from Quebec, attempt to either park or turn a corner on a street (usually in a busy lot or intersection), they will come to almost a complete stop and creep to a turn.

This is what Porsche Guy did. Only, he couldn't get his car straight... even though it looked straight to me as seen through the reflection in the window near us. No, it couldn't have been straight, because it warranted the equivalent of a 16-point turn-based-straightening-parking job to satisfy him. Each time he switched from reverse to drive, back to reverse than drive, his custom exhaust rumbled and sputtered.

This went on for about two to three minutes. Seriously, I'm not making this up.

I'm assuming Porsche Guy wasn't very happy with his parking skills, because he backed up and then once again, drove towards the west of the strip and slipped around the back of the building.

Alana and I continued to talk, but not even a minute later, the Porsche Guy is back, driving from the east side to the west. He finds about three spots in a row that are available (I don't know why he didn't pick one of them in the first place) about 50 feet from the restaurant.

He starts to park, but no, he changes his mind. Already half-way into the spot, he begins to back up, drive past the spot a little and then reverse. Wow, he wants to back into the spot.

Alana and I look in amazement as we've been keeping an eye on this guy for over 7-8 minutes now, driving around the lot like a lost tourist. He starts to back in, but pulls forward, then reverses and pulls forward. About 5-6 repetitions of this and we think he's done. He's sitting in his car for a few minutes as Alana and I start to talk again.

Then I hear it: the exhaust. I can't believe it, he's pulling out of the spot again. He realigns his car and backs into the same spot!!! It's bordering on the line of insanity. Alana and I are floored, and at this point, we can't help but giggle at Porsche Guy.

The door finally opens and the guy comes out. He stands by his car for a few seconds and starts to walk towards the restaurant. But wait! He has to give his car one final look as he's walking... his body coming towards us but his head tracking the hood of the car.

He walks past us, giggling and then silent as he's next to us, giggling as he passes us. He enters the restaurant, and then as he picks a seat at the sushi bar, he looks at his car through the open windows.

The parking lot has won. It's too late, he can't redeem that battle. Everyone's already seen the carnage.

I swear, if I had a camera, you would have watched at least 75% of the thing on YouTube.